My inner spoiled brat tends to want to run the show some days. It's her I have to conquer in order to win this war on myself. While I was walking recently, I found myself actually thinking about me as two entities - kinda weird, but it makes sense to me. I've apparently always given in to that spoiled brat which is part of why I ended up over 300 lbs. It's just easier sometimes....well, most of the time.
No one said that losing weight was going to be easy - it's hard as hell! And even though some folks think of WLS as the "easy way out" to lose weight, I'm here to say that it isn't true. And I'm pre-surgery. I have a ton of work to do before I am finally approved for the lapband. When I started this my BMI was over 52. Yikes! I have to get it down to below 50 before I can have out-patient surgery. That means losing like 30 pounds before I can even get on the table. And it isn't easy ( no one said it would be, right?) So I'm busting my butt to get the pounds off before I can even get to the big dance.
So what am I doing to keep the spoiled brat at bay and make progress toward losing that first 30 pounds?
1. I'm eating small meals throughout the day. In my former teacher life that just wasn't going to happen. Now that I have a desk job with a permanent spot from which I don't often wander, it's pretty easy for me to graze. My meals consist of protein bars, yogurt, fruit, a chicken salad kit, and repeat of the fruit and yogurt. I have to get my veggies in at the evening meal, but that is working pretty well.
2. I am drinking at least 64 oz of water a day and trying to make it 100+. I feel better when I do drink more water. Plus, I've pretty much given up drinking soda. Water is free, anyway.
3. I'm walking. I was walking 30 - 45 minutes a day after work. Well, now I get up earlier and walk for 15 minutes in the morning. Then after lunch I go out and walk another 15 minutes. In the evening I take the dogs for a walk. 3 dogs - that's 2 15-20 minute walks so I can handle them safely.
4. Taking the stairs - no more elevator. I don't often have to go to other floors at work but when I do- it's the stairs I take. And on that lunch walk I'm doing, on the return trip I am in the basement of our building and I walk to the 4th floor by the stairs. Today my inner spoiled brat didn't want to do the stairs. I stood there running excuses past myself for a good 2 minutes. I envisioned my fellah's look of disapproval if I let myself off the hook. I felt the guilt of skipping it. So I did the stairs. I can't go fast. I want to drop at the top. But by golly, I did it.
5. I've cut out a lot of random carbs. I just prefer eating my self-prescribed diet of fruit and bars and stuff because I know what I'm getting for nutrients and calories. If left to just free-range feed, I don't do well and I know this. I have to just be on point always.
And I'm seeing results. The scale doesn't show me much, but I refuse to let that bother me. I can see in my face and neck that I look better - cripes, I think I've lost a chin. My clothes definitely it better. I'm missing a saddle bag on my right hip and can't wait for the left one to disappear, too. The non-scale victories are plenty satisfying, especially when the scale doesn't show progress. I don't need no stinking scale to tell me.
I hope that I am making life-style changes that will last me a lifetime. Slow and steady. Changes by change. I may not like every change but change? It's a good thing.
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