This work is hard!!!

Stalking lots of blogs lately, I notice the hot topic seems to be the notion that some folks see bariatric surgery as "the easy way out."  Maybe I thought that as well, but then I met my boyfriend who has lost 180 lbs. thru gastric bypass surgery and has to run every day to keep the evil  pounds at bay. I think of another friend who has lost a ton of weight but is still miserable as a person.  It ain't easy.

If you've ready any of this blog, you know I am preparing for lapband surgery.  I am about 3 months into my 6 month preparation program.  At 322 lbs my BMI  was over 50. In order to have the surgery as an outpatient, i need to lose weight to get that BMI below 50.  

IT IS HARD!!!

The mental part is just as challenging as the physical.   I have been fighting demons for years and managed to swaddle them in my fat self.  Unraveling the reasons I've gotten to this weight his hard and painful.  This shit ain't for sissies.

And before January 1 I had become a complete couch potato.  Since then I have been working toward getting fit.  I am walking. For a while I did one walk a day. Then I decided to try two walks.  Now I'm up to three walks a day.  I started doing 15 minutes in the morning; now I'm doing 30 minutes.  Around lunch time I take a 15-20 minute walk, making myself climb the stairs in my office building from the basement to the 4th floor. Hauling this carcass up that many stairs is an ass-kicker. Today I wanted to skip it because I've been congested and am having trouble breathing, but I did it anyway.  This evening I will walk my three dogs...in two rounds of walking.

This morning -  I jogged.  I've read a little about the Couch to 5K program, so I decided to add some bursts of jogging in with my walking.  I hurt now a little, but by golly it didn't kill me.  I think I will try a little of that again tonight.  The dogs will love it.

My personally prescribed eating program seems to be working.  I feel good and can tell when I've fouled up.  It isn't worth it to feel so gross, so I know I have to be much much more careful what I put in my mouth.

I've been drinking hot tea the last couple days to fight the congestion in my chest.  It sure helps.

I'm really enjoying this journey, even though it is hard.  I like me a lot these days and feel like a success for the first time in ages. That's a good thing.  I don't feel like I need to hide anymore, either.  Hide from what?  IDK - but I have the sense that I've been hiding from the world. 

OOOOP! Gotta go. I can smell the coffee pot burning out the bottom.  Thanks for reading!