Begin at the begining.
Now, where the hell else would you expect a person to begin? We don't have time to cover my entire life history, so let's just cut to the chase. I'm 47. Single mom. Fat. Overweight. Obese. Yeah, well....morbidly so. I started out the year at 328. And decided to blog at 324. Thus the name of the blog.
I used to blog under an alias, then my employer discovered my blog and rumor of my writing spread like wildfire, and I was being stalked by any number of busy body ass-jacks who had no need of reading about my quest for health. Well, people, Fat Don't Wrinkle, and I no longer have that employer. I got fired. Actually quit instead of being fired, but it's all the same. I was really upset for about 5 minutes. Then I realized that I was about to get my life back.
So I got fired and about 5 days later went on summer vacation with my kid - 13 y.o. boy, going on 27. When we returned I began the battle for unemployment - freaking out a little that it took me more than a month and a half to get approved. Yikes.
Fast forward - feeling good. Still fat and sassy. September comes and I'm getting nervous about trying to live on unemployment. I applied for lots of jobs, landing temp work at a catalogue distribution center processing returned merchandise. I hate folding clothes, but it was a job. Fasts forward to October.
I had an interview with my county's aging resource center. BAM!! I got the job. Over 300 people applied, and they chose me. (What.What!!!?) I landed in the greatest place on earth - I swear!! It's a circus some days, but I love every minute of it. I am appreciated. I am valued. I have skills. My can-do attitude is desired. My sarcasm is shared by nearly everyone in the office - as is my sense of humor. I love this place!!! I found peace! I found love! I found something to be passionate about!
Well, life has gone on. In late December I heard from a fellah I hadn't heard from in 17 years. He found me on facebook. I was like "WFT?!!?" Guess what - we clicked in a very crazy, very passionate, very internet affair. I suspect his wife caught him - ya can't just leave your email logged in and facebook logged on. Duh. Cuz BAM! It was over. I never did get to see him. No booty call. (dang!) But the last thing we talked about was me being alone. He thought I was a wonderful woman and deserved to be with someone to love. So, I looked for someone - that's another story. He gave me his blessing to find happiness. (As if I needed that from him.) One thing he did do for me was unlock the passion I have stuffed down for over five years while I've been flying solo. You could say that he "unleashed the beast". And for that I am grateful. I was on the verge of having an affair with a married man. Shame on me - I know. I know. I'm not caring to think about the right or wrong of what I did - but I know that it happened for a reason.
In the meantime, I started thinking about weightloss surgery; lapband - for specific. 3 other people in my office are going thru the WL Mgmt program thru our insurance. I have a built-in support network right here at work. So, I am pursuing that process. I am about a month in - and I'm hoping that 5 months from now I can have the procedure done.
Also in the meantime - I received a "God-message" one Saturday morning. January 5, I believe it was. It was put on my heart to look for a past love. We'll call him John. He and I had dated 10 years ago. We were extremely compatible and hit it off beautifully. We had so much in common and there was amazing chemistry. We had struggles - he'd been in a marriage that really hurt him as a loving human being. I was kind of a jerk - dealing with my own issues being a single mom with an ex who was a complete (and still is) douche-nozzle. (Not for the faint of heart, this blog.) Anyway, back then he suddenly emailed me saying he couldn't be in the relationship and it was over. (Me: WTH?) So I let him go - no fight, no begging, no pleading. About a month later, I found him on chat and he told me he had been going to ask me to marry him. Then I was devestated. But I never forgot him.
Back to the God-incidence thing. This voice in my head started nagging me to look for John. I knew he was married - so I ignored it, but the voice was so adamant. I found him on facebook but there was nothing there - we weren't friends, so he was all blocked up. And he was married - wasn't I already involved with one of those? Damn if that voice didn't demand that I look up his circuit court record. Yep, we can do that here. So I did - found out he was in the process of getting a divorce. WHOA! I went back to facebook and sent him a message. The nagging voice left me alone until Wednesday of that week. I had no response from him, so I shrugged it off until that Wednesday morning. The voice demanded that I send him an email at his job. Seriously?! So, I sent an email saying hello and giving a brief update of my life. I figured he'd ignore me or tell me to buzz off or, maybe - just maybe, he'd be happy to hear from me. I left it up to the powers that be.
Well, he emailed me back. He was thrilled to hear from me. We made a date for that Saturday. Our first date - Zero Dark Thirty and dinner. So, yes, "he had me at terrorism." Our date was amazing. It was like no time had passed. We held hands and cuddled up a little in the theater. Held hands and talkd and talked over dinner and a drink. Said our good-byes promising to be in touch. And we are - we still are. And we have rekindled our romance. We are at the beginning of what I hope will be a lifetime of love and laughter and living. I've never been so happy.
And - he's a weightloss surgery success story. He's lost 180 lbs thru gastric-bypass. He looks and feels great. He's an inspiration to me. He's a cheerleader. He's amazing.
This is the beginning of my story. It's a journey I am going to document mostly for me. So far, so good. I am at 314 lbs right now. Eating 2000 cals/per day. Walking when I can - will do more when the bitter cold here goes away.
If you are reading this, welcome to my story. Settle in. I hope you stick around for the feature.
